x-box is for babies.
Who needs x-box (or playstation for that matter) when you can play the real life MMORPG (massively multiplayer offline role-playing game) calls Streets of London on the Morning Rush Hour. Unlike video games, in this one the goal is to get from point A to B (usually from home to the office) in minimum time with getting as many ‘almosts killed’ as possible without actually killing someone or getting killed.
There are different roles / characters you can choose from:
You can be a private car driver - your role is to keep on sleeping while driving and to try to almost kill as many cyclists or bikers as possible. Increase your chances by talking on your mobile while drinking your coffee and trying to find the radio station you like (all at once)
You can be a pedestrian - your role is to play ‘almost’ with all the motorists. When you see a car or a bike approaching in 40 mph, pretend they are not there, never stop in red light, leave roughly 2 centimeters of space between your body and the vehicle that’s coming towards you.
You can also be part of a group of high-school kids - your role is to blindly run to the bus from across and almost get killed by any vehicle on the road. If you are more intermediate you can push one of your mates to the road (as a joke) and play chicken with the cars.
You can be a van driver - your role is to try to almost kill anyone else on the road by cutting off other cars while listening to Tiesto, eating your bacon role, reading the daily star and navigating to your destination (usually without sat nav)
You can be a biker (that’s me!) - go on your bike or scooter and try to get killed at least 5 times by manically weaving between lanes, cars, buses cutting off as many other drivers as possible. Get high on the dark stuff emitted from the cars exhausts around you. Never stay in line with a slow and standing traffic. Never drive in straight line more than 7 meters.
You can be a bus driver - your thing is to try to almost kill every cyclist that rides in the lane you suppose to share.
Finally, you can be a cyclist - your role is to ignore every possible traffic rule. You should never stop at red light, ignore pedestrian, cut off cars, play chicken with vans etc. Now, if you really think you’re a bad ass you can be a courier cyclist - those are the real suicidal nutters. You will have a wirdow’s single gear bikes, preferably with no breaks. Your role is to not only try to get killed without actually being killed but to also try to cause as many crashes between cars that try not to kill you.
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